Betrothal & Marriage Age
“...my daughter I betroth, according to Athenian law, to Megacles the son of Alcmaeon.”
Megacles declared that he accepted her, and the formalities of the betrothal were completed.[1]
Megacles declared that he accepted her, and the formalities of the betrothal were completed.[1]
The agreement between Cleisthenes and his future son-in-law in Herodotus’ Histories is the first evidence for the betrothal contract, the engye.[2] The contract, officiated with a handshake between the two men, is an agreement to produce legitimate children for the Athenian state.[3] After this, a dowry with a specific monetary value was agreed upon and the marriage could take place; the time period for betrothal could be several years, and because the bride was not required to be present for the engye, this moment could take place years before she reached sexual maturity.[4] Under ideal circumstances, she would have been separated from males her entire life[5] – a custom which enforced the practice of arranged marriages.
Most sources state that Athenian girls would have married in their early teens to men who were in their 20s or early 30s.[6] However, some research points to the fact that the majority of the cases from Athens would have been in aristocratic families.[7] Based on evidence from the surrounding poleis, girls would have married in their late teens – perhaps 17-20 years.[8] Plato’s various recommendations place the prime childbearing age for girls at around 20-40 years with a later recommendation for marriage between the ages of 16 and 20.[9] Additionally, in most societies, early marriages are more prevalent in upper classes who wished to secure estates and family alliances – and Athens may be no exception.[10] It could be said, then, that Athenian girls married anywhere in their early teens to age 20 depending on specific circumstances. [See Hesiod's recommendation for marriage age.]
Like modern American society, Athenian marriages occurred throughout the year. No evidence shows a specific time was preferred, but some point to the month of Gamelion (about the time of the Gregorian January, and named such after the festival celebrated for the wedding of Zeus and Hera).[11] Athenians did, however, seem to prefer the full moon because it was thought to increase chances of fertility.[12]
Most sources state that Athenian girls would have married in their early teens to men who were in their 20s or early 30s.[6] However, some research points to the fact that the majority of the cases from Athens would have been in aristocratic families.[7] Based on evidence from the surrounding poleis, girls would have married in their late teens – perhaps 17-20 years.[8] Plato’s various recommendations place the prime childbearing age for girls at around 20-40 years with a later recommendation for marriage between the ages of 16 and 20.[9] Additionally, in most societies, early marriages are more prevalent in upper classes who wished to secure estates and family alliances – and Athens may be no exception.[10] It could be said, then, that Athenian girls married anywhere in their early teens to age 20 depending on specific circumstances. [See Hesiod's recommendation for marriage age.]
Like modern American society, Athenian marriages occurred throughout the year. No evidence shows a specific time was preferred, but some point to the month of Gamelion (about the time of the Gregorian January, and named such after the festival celebrated for the wedding of Zeus and Hera).[11] Athenians did, however, seem to prefer the full moon because it was thought to increase chances of fertility.[12]
Offering & Dedication
Timarete, daughter of Timaretos, before her wedding
Dedicated her tambourines, her pretty ball,
The net that shielded her hair, her hair, and her girlhood dresses
To Artemis of the Lake , a girl to a girl, as is fit.
You, daughter of Leto, hold your hand over the child
And protect the pure girl in your pure way.[13]
Verses to Artemis
Dedicated her tambourines, her pretty ball,
The net that shielded her hair, her hair, and her girlhood dresses
To Artemis of the Lake , a girl to a girl, as is fit.
You, daughter of Leto, hold your hand over the child
And protect the pure girl in your pure way.[13]
Verses to Artemis
The beginning of a girl’s transition to womanhood was marked with offerings and dedications. This transition would be completed with marriage and childbearing, but began with a young girl’s dedication of her toys to the virgin goddess Artemis, like the hymn above – usually before she was betrothed.[14] Later, it was typical to also dedicate a lock of hair to Artemis or another figure depending on local custom.[15] (Boys would do this publicly for their transition to manhood, but none of their transition was tied to the wedding.)[16]Other figures included Athena, Hera after marriage, and Hippolytos – a male virgin devotee of Artemis who promised on his death that girl’s would dedicate locks of their maiden hair for him.[17]
Other pre-nuptial dedications included dedicating the virgin belt or girdle to one of these figures before the wedding night, where it would be removed.[18] Not uncommonly, girdles would have been dedicated in thanks after childbirth as well.[19]
Other pre-nuptial dedications included dedicating the virgin belt or girdle to one of these figures before the wedding night, where it would be removed.[18] Not uncommonly, girdles would have been dedicated in thanks after childbirth as well.[19]
Sappho, fragment 22
Sweet mother, I can’t do my weaving--
Aphrodite has crushed me with desire
for a tender youth.[20]
Sappho’s fragment 22 depicts an image of a young girl in her mother’s household, still under the jurisdiction of virgin Artemis, who finds difficulty in the maiden sphere because of her “crushing desire” to move on to the next: Aphrodite’s sphere of married life.
[See other marriage references in Sapphic fragments here.]
Aphrodite has crushed me with desire
for a tender youth.[20]
Sappho’s fragment 22 depicts an image of a young girl in her mother’s household, still under the jurisdiction of virgin Artemis, who finds difficulty in the maiden sphere because of her “crushing desire” to move on to the next: Aphrodite’s sphere of married life.
[See other marriage references in Sapphic fragments here.]
Proteleia, Prenuptial Sacrifice
On this day, the girl about to be married would go with her parents to the acropolis to offer first-fruits and make sacrifices.[21] Sacrifices would have been very common before rituals of any kind in the Greek world, and the wedding was no exception. In Athens, it was important to ask for the goodwill of Athena Ourania (for fertility), Artemis, Ge and Ouranos, as well as the Tritopatores, ancestors (for children) – all of these and others would have received prayers and a proteleia.[22]
Bathing
Washing and bathing was another typical aspect of Greek ritual, and it is no surprise that an elaborate version is included in the wedding. With water taken from a specific source dedicated for religious use, both the bride and groom would take ritual baths.[23] Using the loutrophoros, a vase with a long neck and two handles designed for carrying the nuptial bathwater, a child would walk to the fountainhouse for the sacred spring Kallirhoe, the Enneakrounos, and fetch the water for the couple.[24] Because the sacred water was thought to carry the life-giving power of fertility, the girl who emerged from her wedding bath was no longer considered a maiden, though still technically a virgin.[25]
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Adornment
Adornment was important in the preparations for both the betrothed and the houses of the families involved. Illustrations show the houses of the bride and groom’s families decorated with ribbons and branches before the wedding could occur.[26] And like today, although both the bride and groom are specially dressed for the occasion, the bride’s clothing and jewelry seem to get the most attention.[27] The groom wore perfume and was dressed in a thin, shining cloak called a himation. [28] He also wore a garland on his head likely made of poppy, sesame seeds, cress, myrtle, and mint – a couple of which were thought to have special properties to help him on his wedding day.[29] The bride would wear a gown – perhaps violet – and also wore perfume, likely myrrh.[30] Coupled with her jewelry and bridal veil, the bride will never again be dressed so elaborately in her life.[31]
Feasting
Although variation between weddings led to abbreviated ceremonies, all weddings would have included the feast, an integral component to the Athenian wedding. Men and women would come together from both families to dine together and celebrate the new couple; however, the genders were separated into different sides of the room in this very large gathering.[32] Meat from the proteleia were served alongside sesame, cakes made of sesame seeds and honey – which were thought to promote fertility.[33] The feast itself would have been accompanied by wedding hymns and dances – another important component of the wedding.[34] But, the feast was not merely a time of song and dance, it served a legal purpose as well: in a society without the stringent documentation of today, the ancient Athenians relied on the guests present at the feast to serve as witnesses to the wedding.[35]
Before the rise of egalitarian ideology in Athens, the feast, was an opportunity for the host to display wealth and generosity. However, reforms from figures such as the Athenian archon Solon drastically curtailed the Athenian’s penchant for excess in many aspects of their ritual life including funerals and weddings.[36]
Before the rise of egalitarian ideology in Athens, the feast, was an opportunity for the host to display wealth and generosity. However, reforms from figures such as the Athenian archon Solon drastically curtailed the Athenian’s penchant for excess in many aspects of their ritual life including funerals and weddings.[36]
Nightfall
The bride and groom are brought together for the first time at nightfall, signaled by the appearance of the Evening Star, Hesperus.[38] At this time, the father of the bride formally gives his daughter to her new husband.[39] The moment the bride unveils herself in front of the groom, the anakalypteria, is placed here by some, but it would have at least likely occurred at some point before the couple’s first night together. The purpose of this was to signify the acceptance of the marriage contract by both parties.[40] But generally, after the bride is given away, gifts may be bestowed upon the couple and the procession to the groom’s home may take place.[41]
Lit by torches, the path to the groom’s household was filled with singing and dancing led by the mother of the bride.[42] Attendants would shout “Get up! Make way! Carry the torch!” as the groom traditionally took his new wife by her waist and set her up on a cart to be carried in the procession.[43] The prayers to the gods, noise made by the wedding songs and shouting, and the light of the fire all work to protect the couple when they are the most vulnerable between the two houses.[44] Other Greek rituals and later Roman ones also incorporated noise and light for their supposedly apotropaic qualities, so the Athenian wedding procession is not unique in this.[45] During the procession, sometimes a bride would carry a pan with some barley or a sieve to show what she is going to contribute to the marriage in work and skill.[46]
Upon arrival, the mother of the bride – with her torch – oversees the transfer of her daughter to her new home.[47] Inside, the mother of the groom waits with a torch to lead the couple to a decorated hearth to welcome the bride and incorporate her into the household with more rituals.[48] One of which was the katakysmata, a ritual that involved throwing fruits, nuts, and coins at the couple while they were at the hearth.[49] Finally, the bride would eat a quince to symbolically accept her husband’s support.[50]
Lit by torches, the path to the groom’s household was filled with singing and dancing led by the mother of the bride.[42] Attendants would shout “Get up! Make way! Carry the torch!” as the groom traditionally took his new wife by her waist and set her up on a cart to be carried in the procession.[43] The prayers to the gods, noise made by the wedding songs and shouting, and the light of the fire all work to protect the couple when they are the most vulnerable between the two houses.[44] Other Greek rituals and later Roman ones also incorporated noise and light for their supposedly apotropaic qualities, so the Athenian wedding procession is not unique in this.[45] During the procession, sometimes a bride would carry a pan with some barley or a sieve to show what she is going to contribute to the marriage in work and skill.[46]
Upon arrival, the mother of the bride – with her torch – oversees the transfer of her daughter to her new home.[47] Inside, the mother of the groom waits with a torch to lead the couple to a decorated hearth to welcome the bride and incorporate her into the household with more rituals.[48] One of which was the katakysmata, a ritual that involved throwing fruits, nuts, and coins at the couple while they were at the hearth.[49] Finally, the bride would eat a quince to symbolically accept her husband’s support.[50]
The Wedding Night
The incorporation rituals would be followed by the couple’s first night in the bridal chamber, or thalamos.[51] Inside the room were two beds – one decorated and scented with perfume, sometimes with elegant curtains that formed a canopy.[52] The other bed, called the parabustos, was meant to be a place for either the bride or groom to spend the rest of the night separated if so desired.[53] In this room, the couple would spend their first night together, with security provided by the thyroros, the guardian of the door.[54] This was usually one of the groom’s friends who would spend the night outside the chamber to ensure that no one entered.[55]
This would have been a concern because the maiden attendants who escorted the bride would pound on the door and sing epithalamia so that the she could not be heard as she lost her virginity.[56] The thyroros would stay to make sure none of these women would try to help the bride during this time as she made her irrevocable transition into the realm of Aphrodite and married life.[57]
A Sapphic song about the doorkeeper looks at this job from a more comic viewpoint:
The doorkeeper’s feet are seven fathoms long;
His sandals are of five ox-hides,
And ten cobblers labored to finish them.[58]
This would have been a concern because the maiden attendants who escorted the bride would pound on the door and sing epithalamia so that the she could not be heard as she lost her virginity.[56] The thyroros would stay to make sure none of these women would try to help the bride during this time as she made her irrevocable transition into the realm of Aphrodite and married life.[57]
A Sapphic song about the doorkeeper looks at this job from a more comic viewpoint:
The doorkeeper’s feet are seven fathoms long;
His sandals are of five ox-hides,
And ten cobblers labored to finish them.[58]
Epaulia, The Day After
The newlyweds would awaken the next day to more festivities with their friends and family.[59] Attendants of the wedding would present gifts to the couple, many of which were beauty products for the bride.[60] These might have included perfumes, jewelry, combs, sandals, a kalathos (a wool-working basket), new clothes, and vases.[61] Sometimes, the groom would hold a feast for his phratry called a gamelia.[62] This, like the wedding feast, provided witnesses and could be cited to show that a legitimate wedding had taken place and that the groom was legally married (and could therefore have legitimate children).[63] Later on, this would be useful to the groom’s heirs in claims to estate and inheritance.
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[1] Herodotus, 6.130.
[2] Oakley, 9. [3] Oakley, 9-10. [4] Oakley; Wolff, 64. [5] Oakley, 10. [6] Oakley, 10. [7] Ingalls, 28. [8] Ingalls, 19. [9] Ingalls, 19. [10] Ingalls, 26, 28-29. [11] Oakley, 10; Dillon, 218. [12] Oakley, 10. [13] Hague, 33; Oakley, 14. [14] Dillon, 215. [15] Dillon, 215. [16] Dillon, 215; Hague 33. [17] Dillon, 215. [18] Dillon, 216. [19] Dillon, 216. [20] “Poems of Sappho: Translated by Julia Dubnoff.” [21] Dillon, 217. [22] Dillon, 217. [23] Oakley, 15; Hague, 33 [24] Oakley, 15. [25] Oakley, 15. [26] Oakley, 21. [27] Hague, 33. [28] Hague, 33. [29] Hague, 33. [30] Hague, 33; Oakley, 16. [31] Hague, 33. |
[32] Oakley, 22.
[33] Hague, 33. [34] Oakley, 23-25. [35] Hague, 34. [36] Hague, 33. [37] Greek Anthology no. 514, 285. [38] Hague, 34. [39] Oakley, 25. [40] Oakley, 25; MAS 34. [41] Oakley, 26. [42] Hague, 34. [43] Hague, 34. [44] Oakley, 26. [45] Oakley, 26. [46] Oakley, 27. [47] Oakley, 26. [48] Hague, 34. [49] Hague, 34. [50] Hague, 34. [51] Hague, 35. [52] Oakley, 35. [53] Oakley, 35. [54] Oakley, 37. [55] Oakley, 37. [56] Oakley, 37. [57] Oakley, 37. [58] Hague, 35. [59] Hague, 35. [60] Oakley, 38. [61] Oakley, 38; Hague, 36. [62] Oakley, 42. [63] Oakley, 42. |